The pumpkin patch - take 2

Last Saturday, since Carah was home, we visited the Kuiper pumpkin patch again. (It's becoming a Sissy/boys tradition.)

Unlike our first visit this Fall season, that was full of sunshine and warmth, we were greeted with cold temps and a sky that looked like this....

It reminds me of something Dorothy would've encountered right before the storm that took her to Oz...
Unfortunately, the dismal weather did not bring out the best in my companions. Faces like this

and this

were what I had to work with.
Luckily, the skies brightened a bit and so did a few attitudes

and we were able to find a big giant pumpkin

and a few little guys

to bring home with us

But sincerely, the best part of all, was visiting the bakery and bringing home a dozen warm apple cider donuts.

Now that made EVERYONE happy! :)

today...

she did this

I took lots of pics from the ground. :)
She is my dare devil, thrill seeker.
It was incredible to get to experience this "first" with her (and I'm sure she'll do it again!) What an adrenaline rush! She was the first out of the plane at 14,000 feet. They free fell for a minute at over 100 miles an hour and she was smiling from ear to ear when her feet touched the ground. I love her sense of adventure!

More pics and a video to come!

Remembering

Today is the National Day of Miscarriage and Infant Loss.

We count ourselves an incredibly blessed family. God's tender mercies and huge provision on our lives is overwhelming. We celebrate the wonder and miracle of parenting four incredibly unique, beautiful, amazing children here on earth.

But, the truth is, we are parents of five. Samuel is our son whose place is right smack in the middle of Nathan and Caleb. We miscarried Samuel eight years ago.

While the heartache is no longer so raw, we still miss him every day. I find myself catching glimpses of Caleb and Nathan playing together and I can picture him in the middle of the mix. Those thoughts make me smile.

We trust and completely accept God's plan for our lives but today, I just want to stop and remember Samuel. I want to say his name out loud. It want to confirm his existence and the huge impact his short earthly life had on mine. I am grateful for the ways in which he changed me and I am looking forward to the day I will hold him in heaven.

I love you Samuel. xoxoxo - Mom

I can always find you here

Every morning, you make your way out to the front porch, often a good 20 minutes before your bus if supposed to come and you set yourself down on the front stoop. Just sitting and thinking. Watching the morning go by. Sometimes you yell out to your friends from Old Post as they pass on their way to school. Sometimes you just sit. Rain or shine. Warm or cold. I can always find you here.

I watch you as you sit. Wanting to be respectful of your space - your silence, but also wanting to make sure I'm available if you need to talk or let your thoughts out. You are an introvert. My thinker. My feeler. Sometimes you are just being peaceful and enjoying the quiet. Other times, I feel your sadness - yearning for old friends - your old school. And other times still, you just seem to be contemplating some big important world problem or a conversation we had that morning.

Sweetheart, I just want you to know that I get your need for space. Room to think and breathe and feel and be. I also want you to know that we are here. You are on the cusp of a whirlwind of growth - emotional and physical. We are here to listen, to guide you and no matter what, to love you.

So for now, be quiet, be still, but always know, you are never alone and you are always adored. But for goodness sakes, button up and put your hat on... :)