Seeing Santa

I asked both boys a few weeks before Christmas if they wanted to visit with Santa. Nathan, at almost 11 instantly replied, "nah" and Caleb continuously told me emphatically, "No!". But in true Caleb style, a few days before Christmas, he decided he JUST had to see Santa Claus. Of course! He would change his mind during Santa's busiest time. It figures. A few years ago the same thing happened with Nathan and the day before Christmas we found ourselves (me, Nathan, Carah and a one year old Caleb) waiting in a line that was forever long and took an hour and a half. I figured I'd learned my lesson and I would be smart this time. I had it all worked out. Since the last time we went first thing when the mall opened and the line was crazy long and since it was also bound to be crazy at the end of the work day, we'd just go sometime after lunch when everyone else was working or home napping. Sound logic, right? So Zach, Nathan and I picked up Caleb early from school and headed to the mall. As we got near Santa's workshop, I thought, "Score!!! There's no one in line. This is AWESOME!". As we got closer, I realized there was no one in line because there was no Santa sitting in his chair. In his place was just a sign that said, "Be back in an hour.". Sighhhhhhh.....

Now what? We could walk away and come back in an hour only to find ourselves in an hour and a half line. Or we could stand in line for an hour and be one of the first to see Santa. We opted to stand in line (or at least Zach and I stood in line) and Nathan and Caleb had the best time playing in front of the crazy mirror and posing with the decorations.




Santa came back and my two wild partying boys instantly became calm, reserved and even nervous to sit on Santa's lap. I am seriously surprised that Caleb didn't change his mind at the last minute and decide NOT to talk to Santa. Caleb asked for a telescope and Nathan asked for some Star Wars toys. And because they don't allow cameras near Santa, we have this one shot from their short sit.


When I look at this picture, I love seeing the smiles on both of their faces but what really catches my eye is their hands. They both do that when they are nervous and afraid. Too cute that Santa has that affect on both of them. :)

All in all, Caleb walked away so happy that he got to see Santa and Zach and I were no worse for wear. AND as an added bonus, this is what I saw in my rear view mirror on the way home. One very exhausted but satisfied little boy and that made it all worthwhile. :)

Decorating the tree

Wednesday night, while Daddy was at a meeting, Nathan, Caleb and I put the ornaments on our Christmas tree (thankfully Carah and Scott put up the tree and put on the lights since that was out of the question for me this year - thanks guys).
This picture seriously captures how things went with our tree trimming.

First, notice the ornament? Rock 'em, sock 'em robots? That perfectly depicts how Nathan and Caleb got along during the event. From the word go, they were fighting over ornaments and where things could go on the tree and who touched each other's stuff or who was looking at the other....on and on and on it went. It got so bad that the Christmas music I had so sweetly playing in the background couldn't even drown out their noise.... Only, and I MEAN only, after I pulled out the scary mommy voice and threatened to tell Daddy (that ALWAYS works) did the bickering stop. :)

Then take a close look at Caleb's mouth. Notice he's talking, right? Well after the bickering stopped, both Caleb and Nathan decided that they hadn't gotten in their recommended daily allowance of words. Instantly, they both turned into chatty cathy dolls on an adrenaline high - talking simultaneously about their day, babbling about nothing, giving commentary on the ornaments...you name it...they talked about it. Me, who LOVES peace and quiet, right in the middle of the mix - smiling, nodding and trying to stay half tuned in with my "mommy hearing" Oh, my aching ears. :)

Silly story aside, this is what tree trimming IS REALLY LIKE at our house. It is not some idealic Christmas card picture but is just US being US. Bickering, talking, complaining and all. In the end, the tree is full of our special ornaments, it looks beautiful and we had lots of fun (and laughs and sighs....) in the process.. That's what Christmas memories are all about. :)


loving the cheesy smile and that's his FAVORITE new ornament - The Nightmare Before Christmas

The pumpkin patch - take 2

Last Saturday, since Carah was home, we visited the Kuiper pumpkin patch again. (It's becoming a Sissy/boys tradition.)

Unlike our first visit this Fall season, that was full of sunshine and warmth, we were greeted with cold temps and a sky that looked like this....

It reminds me of something Dorothy would've encountered right before the storm that took her to Oz...
Unfortunately, the dismal weather did not bring out the best in my companions. Faces like this

and this

were what I had to work with.
Luckily, the skies brightened a bit and so did a few attitudes

and we were able to find a big giant pumpkin

and a few little guys

to bring home with us

But sincerely, the best part of all, was visiting the bakery and bringing home a dozen warm apple cider donuts.

Now that made EVERYONE happy! :)

I can always find you here

Every morning, you make your way out to the front porch, often a good 20 minutes before your bus if supposed to come and you set yourself down on the front stoop. Just sitting and thinking. Watching the morning go by. Sometimes you yell out to your friends from Old Post as they pass on their way to school. Sometimes you just sit. Rain or shine. Warm or cold. I can always find you here.

I watch you as you sit. Wanting to be respectful of your space - your silence, but also wanting to make sure I'm available if you need to talk or let your thoughts out. You are an introvert. My thinker. My feeler. Sometimes you are just being peaceful and enjoying the quiet. Other times, I feel your sadness - yearning for old friends - your old school. And other times still, you just seem to be contemplating some big important world problem or a conversation we had that morning.

Sweetheart, I just want you to know that I get your need for space. Room to think and breathe and feel and be. I also want you to know that we are here. You are on the cusp of a whirlwind of growth - emotional and physical. We are here to listen, to guide you and no matter what, to love you.

So for now, be quiet, be still, but always know, you are never alone and you are always adored. But for goodness sakes, button up and put your hat on... :)

Little things matter...

A great life is the sum total of all the worthwhile things you've been doing one by one. —RICHARD BACH


There is so much to do. So much to get done. My head is usually spinning in a million directions. But, a while ago, I promised myself I would try to focus on making sure that in small ways, each of my importants always knows how I feel about them.

So, every few days, I've been slipping a little note in his lunchbox. Today when he came home from school, he told me he had a GREAT day. When I asked why, he said, it was because I left him a surprise note that told him he was special and I loved him and I wished he could fathom how much. He said that note went right into his treasure box.

It does matter. It does. :)

Jump

It costs $10 to get into the play area of the pumpkin patch

and an extra $2 to jump on the huge orange 'pumpkin pillow'

but if you just take one look at their faces

and see the joy that is written all over it

you would know, it was worth EVERY PENNY!

Masterpieces

I am constantly amazed at how I continue to learn how little I really see or how my expectation or life experiences have shaped what I see and how I judge accordingly.

Aside from foggy mornings or evenings, I can honestly say, I have never SEEN light like this. And the old me would have thought photos shot in light like this were a failure. After all, isn't a great photo one in which everyone is in focus, wearing happy faces with rich, vibrant colors? What about the lens flare and the haze in these shots? Isn't it a mistake?

Well, if it is, then it is a happy, beautiful accident. This is exquisite light. The kind of light that has surrounded me all along but I have not seen, really seen, for all of my life. The softness, the haze. The way it captures my 10 year old, who I was just whining about growing up too fast, and instantly transforms his features in such a sweet softness that I can readily see the remnants of my sweet baby. The creamy skin. The pensive look. The gentle eyes. Those lips.

It's magical to me that at my age, I can continue to see things in a fresh, surprising way. I love the fact that God continues to open my eyes to new things to see and new ways to see them. This world and each one of us in it - masterpieces. His masterpieces.

All limbs

AKA - someone is growing up fast

I am taking a photography class on light (which is frying my brain - which is not hard to do) but our first assignment was to completely "blow out" the background and show just light and shadow and texture in our subject. All shot in manual. Huhhhh?!

Well the only cooperative model I currently have around this house is Nathan. He sits and he tries to be so patient while I fuss with him and fuss with my camera and fuss with him some more. (I love that about Nathan.)

This first shot was close to what I was supposed to capture but not quite. But this photo is special to me because when I look at it, all I see (behind big old mamma tears) is LIMBS....lots and lots of pre-adolescent boy limbs....those kind of limbs that undoubtedly mean that a young man is working his way out one long leg at a time. And my heart instantly zooms back to the Overland Park NICU 10 years ago - that teeny baby who looked like Rocky (all beat up and bruised) and fought like Rocky. It makes me gasp and I marvel at the miracle that has grown so big and so strong.

Photos have a way of being a reality check for me.

And because he is the cool kid he is, he sat some more and we were able to get this one which got a thumbs up from my teacher. Thank you Nathan for being so patient. Limbs and all. :)

Hello, Fall

If it smells like Fall
And it looks like Fall....

I guess it means that
IT IS FALL!
Even if the temps are in the high 80s. :) sigh..
We took a bike ride Downtown today and I was shocked by amount of trees that were turning and the leaves on the ground. How did this happen?
Not that it's all bad, I LOVE Fall but wow, it's September already.....

We had a good time at the park although Nathan really wasn't feeling too well. He was happy that he was FINALLY able to feed those darned ducks. We've been after them all summer. You can tell they are a bit afraid...makes me wonder who's made them that way. They really were only willing to get just close enough to grab a cracker and then move quickly away.


I just love this shot. This kid has great eyes. I am working really hard to learn to get good shots no matter the lighting. Which means shooting in full manual. Which means a HUGE learning curve for me. Which means my pea sized brain is ready to combust. This was bright mid-day sun. No shadows on his face, no dark eye sockets and nice skin tone. Got lucky :)


Doesn't this look like Nathan trying to impale himself on the spinning thing....Caleb made both of us want to do this very thing just a few times this weekend :) Sigh....that kid......

9 pics on 09/09/09

Just saying that makes me feeling lucky...09.09.09 :)

1. We went to the Brookfield Zoo on Saturday. The Dinosaur's Alive exhibit is leaving soon and instead of waiting too long, missing it and then whining about it, we decided to go. This is quite an accomplishment in our books. :)

2. & 3. The exhibit wasn't much but these signs just cracked me up. I need that last sign for my house for sure...boys are stinky :)



4. The Primate House was a big hit for us. Perhaps you might notice a family resemblance?

5. The boys - "Mom! He HIT me! He's looking at me! Stop touching me!"

6. Me - "Oh good lord, how did I get into this!?"

7. And of course, Daddy - "If only I had my comfy brown chair, this'd be PERFECT!" :)


8. & 9. September is a big month for birthdays in our family. On Monday, I decided to be daring and took the boys to Color Me Mine to make a little something special for a special someone. These kinds of trips can either be disasterous or fantastic fun....thankfully, the boys left their alter-ego gorilla brothers at the zoo and this one was fantastic fun :)



I hope you have a happy 09/09/09. Make it memorable. :)

Lessons learned from the butterflies

One of the mornings while we were in St Louis, Sissy (our night owl) was having a difficult time waking up. I decided we needed to give her some quiet and was trying to figure out what to do with the boys so she could sleep. I remembered seeing a sign for a Butterfly House not far from where we were, so we decided to check it out.

Of course the boys fell in love with these.....

and these

and even these

YYYYUUUUUCKKKKK!
We finally got past these nasty bug cases and entered the butterfly room through two sets of sealed doors which they use to make sure none of the butterflies get out. Inside the second set of doors we found this

It was absolutely magical. Green plants everywhere. Gorgeous sunlight bathing everything in beautiful light and thousands of butterflies flitting around.

As I walked around soaking in the beauty and the magic of the butterflies, I found myself learning and reflecting on a few lessons too.
1.SHOOT FAST

It's hard to believe but there is actually something more difficult in this world to photograph than my crazy children. Butterflies. No sooner would I have my camera pointed at a beautiful specimen than it would dart away. They have a shorter attention span than Caleb. Yikes!

2.EMBRACE TODAY. LIFE IS SHORT

Inside the first set of sealed doors, there was a young girl working. She was there, not only to make sure the butterflies stayed inside, but to give us a bit of info of the things we would see and what we should and shouldn't do. She explained that we should do our best to avoid touching any of the butterflies. She went on to say that the life span of the butterflies in this house was an average of 2 weeks - yes, just 2 weeks. God created these insanely gorgeous, beautiful creatures to live a measly 2 weeks. She said that any contact with human skin would actually shorten their already miniscule life span.

My first feeling was sadness and pity for those butterflies. Two weeks is just not much time but as I watched the butterflies, they didn't seem to mind. They flitted from plant to plant and chased one another and seemed to be totally oblivious to their pending mortality.

They reminded me that I really don't know how long I'll be here either. It could be years but it could also be less than 2 weeks. I need to embrace today and enjoy what was right in front of me. I need to play more games of chase and soak in the sunlight and the joy and the beauty around me.

3. DON'T JUDGE A BUTTERFLY BY IT'S OUTSIDE WINGS

I saw these incredibly gorgeous, brilliant turquoise blue butterflies flying around. I kept telling Zach to keep an eye on them and help me find one who'd landed so I could take a picture of it. All through the house, I kept looking but couldn't seem to find any of those blue butterflies sitting still. Finally, one caught my eye as he landed on a leaf. Ah ha.... we figured it out.

The butterflies in this picture ARE the butterflies I was chasing. AMAZING BUT TRUE. Their seemingly boring brown outside wings hid all that magical blue inside.

How often do I judge a person by what I see on the outside? Not just their appearance but even their actions. How many of us hide our beauty to protect ourselves? How many people have a heart of gold but are reacting out of diappointment, frustration, anger or pain? Given the climate of our world today where all those negative emotions are as common as air, I need to remember that unless I really pay attention and look deeply inside, I might completely miss that person's real beauty. Their heart. Their soul. I might judge and dismiss someone who is absolutely worth a second look. I might miss the opportunity to help heal some of their hurt just by simply offering kindness and compassion.

Don't judge a butterfly by it's outside wings....

We left the butterfly house having a fantastic, surprising adventure. It is amazing that such a fragile thing as a butterfly could serve to teach such incredibly, powerful life lessons. Guess God knows what He's doing afterall.